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As you navigate your healing, the idea of seeking support can feel both comforting and uncertain. You might be wondering who you can turn to, or how much you should ask of the people in your life. It’s important to remember that no single person is meant to meet all of your needs, and that’s okay. In fact, creating a network of support—your own village—can be an essential part of your journey. The reality is, our needs are complex. We might need practical help, emotional supp

Why Self-Compassion is Radical Turning compassion inward is often one of the most radical acts we can do—especially as survivors. So often, we’re taught to extend kindness to others, even to complete strangers, but when it comes to ourselves, it feels much harder. For survivors of trauma, that inner kindness can seem almost impossible. But the truth is, practising self-compassion is essential to your healing journey. Radical self-compassion means embracing yourself with the s

Welcome to a discussion that’s close to the heart of every survivor’s journey—overcoming feelings of unworthiness. Many survivors wrestle with the belief that they don’t deserve happiness, joy, or even recovery. This notion of unworthiness can be a heavy burden, one often compounded by societal myths and personal guilt. Today, we dismantle these misconceptions and affirm your undeniable worth. The Roots of Feeling Unworthy Unworthiness, a shadow that looms over many, often gr

In our exploration of trauma responses—specifically fight, flight, and focus—it's crucial to understand how these mechanisms affect our ability to concentrate and manage daily tasks. Trauma can hijack our brain's executive functions, particularly the amygdala's response mechanism, which needs to be addressed to restore balance and functionality. This blog delves into the science behind these responses and offers strategies to manage them effectively, enhancing focus and prod

Welcome to our deep dive into understanding and creating healthy boundaries, an essential aspect of healing and personal growth. In this blog, we’ll explore the fundamental distinctions between needs and wants, and the concept of armour versus boundaries. This discussion aims to empower you to manage your relationships and enhance your sense of belonging with confidence and clarity. Understanding Needs vs. Wants: Defining what we truly need as opposed to what we simply want i

Recovering from sexual trauma is a deeply personal journey that often influences many aspects of life, including intimacy. As you navigate your path toward healing, you may find that your relationship with intimacy evolves, there might come a time when you feel ready to explore intimacy again, whether with yourself, a current partner, or someone new. However, what you desire and envision for your intimate life might not always align with how your body responds, which can nece

Forgiveness is often misunderstood in the context of healing from trauma. It's a concept that can be both empowering and deeply challenging. For survivors of sexual assault, the idea of forgiveness can evoke a range of emotions, from anger to confusion. In this blog, we'll explore the true essence of forgiveness in the healing journey—debunking the myth that you must forgive those who have harmed you, emphasising the importance of self-forgiveness, and understanding how letti

Healing from trauma is a profound journey, one that takes you from merely surviving to truly thriving. This path begins with a fierce struggle to hold on, navigating daily challenges that can feel overwhelming. But as healing progresses, there's a shift towards a state of thriving—where confidence, self-compassion and resilience become your guiding forces. Let's explore the differences between surviving and thriving, helping you to identify where you are on your journey and h

In the realm of trauma recovery, the concept of neuroplasticity offers us a beacon of hope and empowerment. This incredible ability of the brain to reorganise itself by forming new neural connections is not just a scientific fact—it’s a tool we can wield to actively shape our healing journey. By understanding and leveraging neuroplasticity, we can literally rewire our brains, fostering thoughts and beliefs that promote healing and resilience. Neuroplasticity, the brain’s abil

Healing from trauma is a journey that no one should have to navigate alone. As renowned trauma psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk highlights in his seminal work, "The Body Keeps the Score," the most critical factor in healing from trauma is the strength of the community that supports the survivor. For many survivors of sexual abuse, this can seem impossible. Family and friends might turn away, and the deeply personal nature of trauma can make sharing with others daunting. Howev

As we embark on our healing journeys, finding the right tools can be transformative. Meditation, with its promise of peace and mental clarity, often appears as a beacon of hope. Yet, as a survivor, my path to embracing meditation was not straightforward. It’s a journey marked not just by learning to sit with my thoughts, but by understanding the unique ways our traumatised minds respond to traditional practices. Meditation, often envisioned as a serene path to inner peace, ca

Healing from trauma is inherently a journey of self-discovery, patience, and gradual progression. It’s tempting to want to heal all at once, to quickly find relief from the pain and reclaim a sense of normalcy. However, just as the skin heals one layer at a time after an injury, emotional and psychological healing also requires a gradual, compassionate approach. Rushing this process not only risks further emotional distress but can impede the genuine recovery that comes from

When you've survived something as harrowing as sexual violence, the act of disclosure, of sharing your experience, is a journey fraught with vulnerability and uncertainty. For many survivors, this process of finally having the courage to say what has happened and seek support can become an unexpected navigation of others' responses (ranging from disbelief and discomfort to compassion and support) when the last thing you need to be worrying about is others. The Complexity of D

Healing from trauma is a journey marked not only by battling the shadows of painful experiences but also by rediscovering the light of joy and happiness. It's a path that demands bravery – the courage to face a spectrum of emotions, to sit with them, understand them, and ultimately, to allow them to coexist within us. This journey from surviving to thriving is about embracing the wholeness of our emotional experiences. Understanding Emotional Numbing: After experiencing traum

Healing after a traumatic experience, especially one as deeply wounding as sexual assault, is undeniably a complex and personal journey. It's a path lined with pain, unfairness, and the heavy weight of something that should never have happened. Yet, within this journey lies a profound truth: healing, though influenced by external support, is ultimately a responsibility that rests with you, to acknowledge your struggle and become empowered with the understanding that while the

In the journey of recovery and healing, the power of belief stands as a beacon of hope and transformation. The idea that believing in our ability to heal can set the foundation for actual healing is not just motivational rhetoric; it's a fundamental truth in the path to recovery. When faced with trauma, it's not the assault or abuse that defines our entire life, but our capacity for healing and moving forward. The Importance of Belief in Recovery: Belief is a powerful tool. I

Entering into or being in a relationship as a survivor of abuse brings its own set of complexities and challenges, particularly when it comes to the delicate dance of physical intimacy. In this space, we tread with care, understanding, and an immense depth of self-compassion. This journey is one that intertwines patience, love, and the gentle unfolding of healing. In this blog, we gently unwrap the layers of relationship dynamics for survivors, exploring how to navigate these

As we step into February 2024, we mark an important time: Sexual Abuse & Sexual Violence Awareness Week. This week is more than just a calendar event; it's a powerful reminder of the ongoing struggle against sexual violence. It’s a time to stand together, to raise awareness, and to support those whose lives have been impacted by such profound experiences. Let's shed light on the realities of sexual abuse and violence, dispelling myths and fostering a community of understandin

Explore the complexities of trauma and its effects on our mind and body. Learn about the natural responses to traumatic experiences and begin the journey towards self-understanding and compassion. Understanding Traumatic Responses Beyond 'Fight or Flight': When we think of trauma, the 'fight or flight' response is often the first thing that comes to mind. However, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Trauma can trigger a range of responses, each a natural reaction to extreme

In this blog, we'll embrace the start of a new year as an opportunity to reflect on what's working for us, consider what might need changing, and explore how we can make the most of the fresh start that the new year offers. Whether your December was joyous, challenging, or somewhere in between, the beginning of January is a time for renewal and gentle self-reflection. It's a time when the lack of sunlight, the post-holiday slump, and the arrival of bills can weigh heavily on